New Scripture

Well, at least to me. I started reading this parenting book, and I think it may become my second bible. Now, I'm not a big fan of parenting books, and I think I've only actually read on up till now (and wasn't too impressed with that one). Here is what I love about this one: First of all, it's not written by some pediatrician, who thinks he knows it all. Instead, this book was written by request of the American Psychological Association, and it was supposed to be a book that presented/taught all the latest research insights in regards to raising kids in a book written for the lay man. So, this isn't just opinion - this is what research has discovered for us. And not only that, but it's written in an accessible, interesting way (without quoting research at all so far). But the best really to me is what it teaches. As I read, I just can't help but feel that what I read are 'true principles', and if I can just manages to implement and do those things, I know we'll all be better off.

Here is one pearl of wisdom (that may seem like common sense to you) I've already gained:

• Reward positive behavior. We all know that, right? But do we do this? In the book it talked about how we need to acknowledge our children doing what we want them to do more. They said, for example, a child may play quietly and nicely, and so we don't do anything until they act up (when we start to discipline). Instead we should make efforts to acknowledge their desired behaviors as they take place. This doesn't have to be with lots of words or anything, but can just be a quick kiss as they do what we want them to do, a hug, a word of acknowledgment etc. When they are being good, let them know!!!

Honestly, I am so in love with this book already, and can only recommend it. So, if you're interested the book is called "Parenting that Works" by Edward R. Christophersen, PhD and Susan L. Mortweet PhD. I really think it's worth reading!

On another note, yesterday Sophia and I had a WIC appointment. When we sat down in the waiting area, there was a lady with a little baby. Sophia ran over there, and couldn't get enough of the baby. She tried to hug it, kiss it, play with it, pat it, and kept just looking at it and saying "Hi Baby". It was really cute, except it really kind of broke my heart. Last year we kept feeling over and over again how much Sophia would enjoy a sibling. We really felt it was time to add to the family, but I was a chicken and kept holding off for a few months. Then I got instantly pregnant once we tried, and now that little baby is gone. It made me wonder if things would have turned out differently had we tried sooner, or if this was in the plan all along but Sophia would have gotten the sibling that we feel she needs at a time better for her. Now she has to wait. And I have to wait. And I feel like we all hurt because of it. I miss our little baby. It's been 2 months now, but the pain I feel hasn't changed much. The ultra sound picture of baby is still on the fridge, and sometimes I still feel like crying, wishing things were different. Wishing I could have held this little baby. Wishing a little sister was on her way for Sophia. Wishing I knew when a sister is coming, or if a sibling will come at all. Sometimes I still wish our reality was a different one.