Oh Canada!

 Me trying to take cool pictures of Niagara Falls

 Family shot

 A casual kiss by the waterfalls

 Me trying to take cool pictures of my sister Meike

 Bambi and Elephant at the CN Tower

 View of Toronto from the Ferry

 Sophia collecting rocks

 Sophia playing in the leaves

 Sophia playing in the water

 Another family shot

 "I love to see the Temple, I'm going there some day...to eat," as Sophia usually adds

Well, I guess this won't just be about Canada, but I had to choose a title, right? What have we been up to? My sister Meike was visiting us for 10 days or so, and therefore, I've been busy having fun/doing stuff versus wasting away in front of the computer. One of the things we did was finally get out to Toronto. It was nice to see a new country, have speed limits in km/h and walking on continuous sidewalks - we loved it. And Sophia very obligingly would also burst out on a regular basis the first words of the Canadian National Anthem "Oh Canada". We also got to eat nice food. Meike generously invited us to dinner in Toronto and we enjoyed some nice Moroccan food. Lovely. So, we had fun.

While Meike was here, we also threw Sophia a little birthday party. For the most part, it was just food, and a bunch of kids running around in our friend's backyard while I ate almost all of the little pizza pockets I had bought for the occasion. Sophia opted for the blueberry muffins I made her. But, there were also some presents, which Sophia by now understands are cool, and loves to open. I conveniently asked my friend if we could combine her son's b-day party with Sophia's. Very smart. She takes excellent pictures, and I was lucky to have her take some cute shots of Sophia.

Also, did I mention that little Miss Sophia is now 35 inches tall? That's tall - 90th percentile to be exact. They say that if you double your child's height at age 2, you'll get the height they'll be when fully grown. I don't know if that's true, but it would put Sophia at 5,10. Another elephant. Or giraffe rather, since I doubt she'll be as, urm, sturdy as her mom. Well, it wouldn't surprise me. I'm 5,9, Henry is 6,3 and everyone on his side is tall (women included). Sweet. No midget offspring for us.

Life is good. I don't know what else to say right now. I actually kind of hate the travel posts/up-date posts. I could mention that we've been having the lovliest weather - all the trees are in beautiful fall colors, the sun has been shining pretty much every day, and it's been in the 60s/70s almost every day as well. We keep trying to decide on what to call little Alba Zoë. Sophia started calling her Zoë Alba...I sometimes call her Alba, Henry is leaning towards Zoë again. Haha - what a mess. I keep worrying if everything is ok. I don't feel her move a lot yet, or rather I usually don't feel anything. Then I panick, but try to stay calm and reasonable. I couldn't even feel a thing with Sophia until about 23 weeks. And then even when I was farther along, I often didn't feel much. Probably because Sophia was being Sophia and just sitting tight in one spot, thinking, singing, reading, or something - anything but moving or making a mess. Maybe Alba Zoë is like that, too - mellow and sweet. I really, really can't wait until I can hold her in my arm, and we can all meet her. February still seems so far away.

The other thing I've been thinking about has been, urm, ...me. So exciting. I dug out my old journals a while ago. I used to be a really faithful journal writer pretty much from age 8 till the end of my mission. Then I quit. I still kept track of my life/feelings by keeping copies of letters and emails and all since then, but I haven't written in a journal. Anyway, so I dug out my old journals, from when I was 12-13. And then also read some from later on (like 19/20ish). It was rather telling to see one theme occur over and over and over and over and over again - no matter what my age. It seems that for as long as I can remember, I've longed for what I'd like to call 'deep connections'. I've always had friends. I also had a lot of fun. And a lot of drama. And teenage angst. And teenage stupidity. And a lot of fights. But amongst all of it, I kept longing for being deeply connected to others - to have 'true friends', people who know me inside out, etc. Whatever you want to call it. I realize not much has changed about that. I've always struggled with simple, somewhat shallow friendships. I don't mean to use 'shallow' in a derrogative way, but rather to indicate the lightness of the relationship. Instead, I think, I always want to be known, completely, and be able to be me, completely - while also knowing the other person in the same way. I simply don't enjoy relationships very much that don't seem to include much depth or connectedness - that are merely a result, maybe, of common hobbies or interests. 

So, I've been pondering my past, and been thinking about my future. I'm grateful for having found Henry. He's taken away so much of the lonliness I often felt when I felt surrounded by crowds of people, yet completely isolated because there was no real connection. But then again, I still long for those deep friendships now. Sometimes I miss the goofy nights I had with girlfriends, talking till the wee hours of the morning, or just sharing all the intimate, detailed pains and sorrows of our lives. Sometimes I enjoy the solitude of being out for a walk with Sophia, chasing my own thoughts, but often I desire to be connected to others. Weird? Maybe. At least, I'm glad to gain a better understanding of why I do some of the things I do. Doesn't it at least shed some light on why I write so much on my blog? :)