To Whom It May Concern...

Today I was trying to take a nap, and couldn't really rest because I kept thinking of some stuff that came to my attention since our announcement of my pregnancy. It really bothered me, and kept me up instead of dozing off. So, I thought I'd say something about it though those who uttered those words are not likely to be reading my reply (since I don't think they know of my blog or if they happened to, never read it - HA!).

It seems that there are some, whoever they may be, who, even though they don't really know me, think they know me well enough to know whether I want children or not, or whatever. Quite frankly, this was never a topic I really wanted to discuss with people, since this is one of my few private things I don't discuss with just anyone (in opposition to pretty much everything else in my life that I share pretty freely and openly). It's something personal, big and important to me that I just discuss with those who know me really well. Therefore, any assumptions on whether I wanted children or not are completely misplaced, since I have made it a point to not really let anyone know how I actually feel on the topic. Even more, congratulations that suggest that my husband is lucky to finally get what he wanted (like I was holding him back) are pretty upsetting to me. It makes me want to share my pregnancy even less with anyone. I just hate having people run around and butt into business that isn't theirs, and I like it even less when people start making all kinds of assumptions, just because someone isn't running around and sharing every detail of their personal life with them. Grrrrr.....

The other upsetting thing that came to my ears (or rather eyes in this case) was almost an insult to my intelligence. The question was raised whether I really wanted this child, or whether my family pressured me into this, and since I was such an intelligent young lady I had so much opportunity to make something else of my life, rather than letting my brains "go to waste" at home.

Once again, I was really bothered not only by the assumptions made (like that I WILL let me brains go to waste, stay at home, and probably didn't want the child but was just pressured into it). But even more annoying and upsetting were the actual assumptions themselves. To me, to even suggest that raising a child is a waste of brains makes me extremely mad. To suggest that my family would pressure me to have a child, and me to go for it, is even more outrageous. Really, I'm just bugged beyond bugged-ness that people will butt into my personal, special life experience with their dumb and rude assumptions.

So, in case anyone else wondered whether I wanted this baby, or any babies, or whether I was pressured into this, or whether I'm just doing this for any lame reason, or whatever else dumb things people may think, let me reassure to anyone and everyone that a) I'm extremely excited for our little girl to come, b) family (present and future) has always been the most important thing to me and c) this is something so happy and special to me that I just don't want to discuss it with everyone and their dog and d) I don't wanna do the pregnancy talk because there isn't a heck of a lot to talk about for me and because I don't see how my experience is enhanced by discussing all the pregnancy "aowies" with other women, and e) just because I have fears and worries about something doesn't mean I don't want it, rather it probably means that I think about it more and take it more seriously than some others. Thank you very much.

I hope this clarifies a few things.