Emilia Fae Patterson

I guess I better post about our sweet new little daughter, lest she'll get an early complex.

So...On November 3, 2012 at 1.05am, Emilia Fae Patterson was born at home. In a birthing pool. She weighed 7lbs 15oz and measured 19 inches long (though the pediatrician 2 days later got 19.5 inches). She's been our earliest, and tiniest baby yet. Right when they handed her to me, I said that she's definitely not a 9lbs baby like the others.

Her name is pronounced e-MI-li-a. Emphasis on the second syllable, similar to Amelia. Fae is pronounced "Fay" and rhymes with day, say, nay, gay, hay, lay, clay, bay and so forth. Not too hard, right? So, please, do me a favor now that you know how to say her name and don't call her Emily or Emma by accident. I can't really stand either of those names, and it's not what we named her!!!!

And now, for those who care, the birth story of sorts...

After much back and forth, we decided some time in September or so to go with a midwife. I had considered the idea before, since there was a midwife in Redding, who also offered her home sort of as a birthing center. She also only lived one mile away from the hospital (the REAL hospital) and I thought that sounded like a good option. But for whatever reason, I decided at some point that I didn't want to deal with a 1-hour car drive through the mountains once I was in labor. So, we moved away from the midwife idea. Then I heard about a new midwife in Redding, who would also come up here to Burney. I looked into it, and got in touch with that midwife.

Anyway, we were kind of back and forth on the midwife thing, because when you choose to birth at home, you have to prepare all kinds of stuff that you don't have to worry about going to the hospital. The thought of making sure I have everything on hand/organized somehow stressed me out at some point, and so we almost opted for the hospital. Especially since that would have also saved us money. But then we decided since we could afford to go either way, we didn't want to make it about money.

The nice thing about my midwife was/is that she works with another midwife. And if there isn't another birth going on, you have both of them come for your birth. In our case, on top of the 2 midwives, there were also training a new midwife, and she came for the birth as well. So, I had 3 people to tend to my every need...

The preparations weren't actually as bad as I thought it was. It was basically just making sure you had a bunch of towels, wash rags, garbage bags etc. all in one place ready to be used. You also order a birthing kit that comes with all the various supplies the midwife may need to deliver the baby (and placenta and stuff).

Along the way, I also learned that you cannot just go with any midwife. You really want to make sure you get a midwife who knows her stuff. I didn't realize how many important questions you could and should be discussing with your midwife, but as we considered the issues of complications, it definitely became clear to me that you need to ask and dig in depth how complications are handled, and that you're on the same page with the midwife on what to do when the need arises.

I know I used to be very concerned about complications in a home birth. And others have expressed similar concerns when I said I'd do a homebirth. But I found out that a good midwife is trained in and brings all kinds of emergency equipment to deal with complications. My midwife was trained in neonatal resuscitation, had oxygen for both mom and the baby if needed, stuff to suture you up, meds to deal with hemorrhaging, and so forth. When I talked with my doctor about complications, I asked her what complications could be so bad that the 25 min. it takes to drive to the hospital would not be enough. And she could only come up with one single issue that is also incredibly rare. So, all in all, the risks really aren't all that great birthing at home, I guess.

Henry was still nervous though. Being the perfectionist he is, he really wanted to be prepared to deal with any possible complication himself as well. Ha!

Anyway, so on Friday, Nov. 2, Henry came home at 1pm because he had a killer migraine. He just collapsed into bed, popped a few ibuprofen, thought he'd die/throw up, and was out. When my midwife came at 4pm for my prenatal appointment, Henry was still sleeping. (Another perk of the whole home birthing stuff is that your midwife comes to your house for your prenatal appointments. So, you don't have to drag any kids to the doctor with you or whatever. Very nice). When she left, I fed the kids, cleaned the kitchen, got the kids ready for bed and...started noticing what I thought might be contractions. At least, it seemed like my guts were really eager to empty themselves, and there was that occasional weird crampy sensation. Around 7pm as I was reading to the kids, I was pretty sure that I was having contractions. So, I quickly finished getting the kids into bed. Henry finally woke up (7.30pm?) still feeling like death was not too far away. I really wasn't sure at that point whether I should even tell him that I had contractions, and I contemplated just letting him go back to bed, setting up the pool the midwife had brought that day myself, and just doing the whole birthing thing without daddy...if that's what was down the road. I was still hoping the contractions were a fluke, since they were still far apart.

But, I ended up telling Henry. Then his dad came over to chat/eat some of our food. While he was sitting in our living room, I was resting on the couch, timing my contractions to see how serious they were (or not). They were about 15 minutes apart. At about 9pm, I decided to call my midwife and warn her that I might be in labor. She recommended taking a warm bath. By then  Henry had helped me set up the pool, but we hadn't filled it yet, since I wanted to be sure I was in labor. So, Henry layed down for another nap, while I took a bath. When I got out a little before 10pm, the contractions hadn't slowed down for all I knew. But that was kind of irrelevant, because Henry's mom had just come back from Redding with all our groceries, and so, while Henry slept, I finished up with a last few cleaning chores (new sheets on the bed, putting away clean laundry etc.), and then putting away all the groceries. After Henry's mom left a little after 10pm I decided to time my contractions again, and noticed they were 5 minutes apart now. And feeling stronger as well (as in less comfortable - up to that point they were mostly annoying but not too painful to deal with/ignore for the most part).

And then things went pretty fast. We called the midwives at 10.40pm, and from then on the contractions were really picking up. I stopped cleaning, mostly since I also got to a point where I couldn't focus on that anymore. I was totally shaking, and tried to just sit back and relax while dealing with the contractions when they came. Henry tried to help me out, but I just wanted to be left alone. So, Henry just tried to get me to drink a little while timing my contractions when I had them. He asked me to tell him when they started, which I never did. However, he realized it didn't take much to figure out when I started having one and when it was over. At that point it seemed the contractions were about 3 minutes apart, and lasting a bit over a minute. When the midwives got to our house a little after midnight, that was still the pattern, and I was getting kind of tired of the whole contractions crap. It seemed that if I moved at all, I'd just have another contraction, and since they really hurt my back, I tried to just not move. That didn't work...haha.

After the midwives had set up all their stuff, I was debating whether I should have them check my dilation. In a way I wanted to know because I was hoping that maybe I'm ready to have that baby, but since my contractions didn't seem to have increased in strength or frequency much in the last 2 hours, I wasn't too optimistic. Henry was still trying to fill the pool with hot water (we had run out of hot water, and so the pool wasn't as warm as it was supposed to be), and since I still couldn't hop into the pool, I figured we may as well give it a try. Well, I happened to be dilated to 9cm. I think that was around 12.30am. Knowing that I was so close really gave me new wind though. I hopped into the pool, and now really tried to work with the contractions - I just tried to envision the baby moving down, and so when the contractions hit, I just tried to move along with it all in a downward movement.

And then, suddenly - BAM, my water broke. That was the strangest thing to experience. I had been really afraid of the whole pushing part. But when the pushing urge came, it was just this really strong, powerful urge that I had 0 control over. So weird. It literally seemed to lift my body half-way up out of the water. And I could just see the amniotic fluid burst out. Craziness. The midwives called Henry who was still trying to get warm water into the pool. And then it just all went super fast. A few pushes, and Emilia was out. It took 5 minutes maybe. Henry tried to catch the baby, but was a bit unsure what to do, so Kara, our midwives help him hand the baby to me. Then we just relaxed in the pool, with a towel tossed over baby, for a good 10 minutes or so until the cord stopped pulsating. Then Henry helped cut the cord, and took the baby while I got to deliver the placenta. Yup, also in the pool. That's the only part where the whole water birth thing got "dirty", or rather very bloody. Any messes were basically contained to the pool only, and the midwives cleaned all that up. I also enjoyed that I could hold my baby right after she was born. Even better, since I birthed her in water, I was handed a CLEAN baby - no goop, no blood, no white cheese stuff. Just a cute, clean baby. I liked that there was no rush to cut the cord, and that she got all the last good stuff from the placenta.

She was with us basically from the moment she was born. She didn't get poked and smeared and rubbed and whatever with a gazillion things. Instead, she just got be in our arms. Just after she was born and I layed down in our bed, Henry woke up Sophia and Alba (who had peacefully slept in their rooms next to the room I gave birth in) to meet their new sister. Everything just seemed very peaceful, and comfortable because it was my own home.

I really enjoyed that.

Some of the down sides in our situation was maybe that the midwives didn't clean up as well as I would have, and so it was a bit harder to resist the urge to jump up and clean. ;) That's probably just a problem I'd have though. Also, unfortunately, as I said the pool water didn't get as hot as it should have, and so I didn't get to use it as much as I had hoped. I'm sure it would have helped with the contractions.

All in all, I'd say it was a good experience and I might do it again. The recovery has been probably the easiest out of my 3 (and I think they were all fairly easy). More importantly though I feel like Emilia is doing better than the other 2 did (better breathing, better sleeping from the beginning, nursing is probably about the same) and I feel like Sophia and Alba had a perfectly easy time to adjust to the new sibling. Actually, it's like there was no need for adjustment. Everything just flowed naturally from one stage to the next.

All that has been really great. I do remember that right after I had given birth, I was still wondering why I thought doing this at home would be great. The contractions really weren't fun to deal with towards the end. They did hurt. The pushing part though, I didn't experience as painful at all - very intense for sure, but not painful. I actually tore, and was surprised because at no time was there any sensation that felt uncomfortable enough to indicate that I might be tearing. It really surprised me.

So...would I do a home birth again? I don't know. Probably. If it felt right. And that was really the biggest thing. When we tried to decide what to do, we just felt that it would be ok either way. Feeling that it really would be fine, was a big factor in our decision. If the hospital here ended up offering water births though, I could also see myself going that way. Now I know what's it's like to deliver a baby naturally. I know I can do it. I know it's not as bad as I was afraid it would be. On the other hand, it really was nice to just be at home for all this, with just the people you want around.

I guess we'll just have to see.