Sunday, April 26, 2009
Nightmares
Last night I was feeding Sophia, and thought I heard a 'questionable' sound in the kitchen. I got really scared, walked over into our bedroom with Sophia, while turning on the lights. Henry kept sleeping though. I finally got up the courage to go check up front, and found the kitchen window open (even though I had asked Henry to close it) and the balcony door unlocked. No one was there, but I got so freaked out. In the last couple of days I've been a little scared at night while laying in bed, thinking of people breaking into our little home etc. I really feel quite unsafe here at times (sorry, I'm not trying to bash the US)...I saw this picture of Germany on my computer, and just longed for home. I longed for the feeling of safety I usually felt there. I long for not worrying about crazy ghetto people, and people with guns. I long to not be afraid to have my windows open at night. I long for a more communal life style where you know your neighbors, and you go for a walk, and kids ride their bikes to school. I long for feeling safe.
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14 comments:
Well, I hope you guys find a place to live where you feel safe. I grew up in small towns and rarely locked the house, or the car. I grew up riding my bike across town and feeling safe. I grew up knowing my neighbors and trusting them...and trusting basically everyone in town. I still, even now, rarely lock the door when I'm home (gasp), even though I live in a city.
So, maybe there is that special small town somewhere where Henry can work and you can feel safe.
ugh that's scary. When we lived in Boston we had someone break in through our bedroom window. Luckily our neighbor saw it and startled the guy so he went right back out and ran away. He didn't take anything with him, but I never felt safe in our apartment after that. Plus, he left a big muddy foot print on our carpet, so I could never really shake off my fear.
Jonni and I had a long talk after that and we realized we didn't really want to raise our children in the US. I know, maybe it's paranoid, but it was just one of these personal revelations that both Jonni and I felt very strongly at that moment.
When I got pregnant 2 months later we knew that we would go back. Of course, we didn't have the options that you have, moving into a safer place. Jonni's visa was tied to his work, and that was in Boston.
I really don't regret leaving, I feel so much safer here. Just this weekend we were out with friends in the city (i.e. Helsinki) until well past midnight, and on my way home I realized how I wasn't really afraid of any gang member or thug coming up behind me and mugging me.
I read an article the other day (I think it was Newsweek, but I'm not sure)in which the author talked about the phenomenon that safety is a luxury good, too. And while the US has a lot of consumer goods to choose from, socialist European countries, especially the Nordic ones, offer their citizens a peaceful society. It may mean higher taxes, but also less coveting and unrest among the lower classes (because there aren't really any classes as much).
J and I have been thinking about where to go, since neither of us can see themselves settle in Finland. But I really don't know what I value more: the safety and peace that comes along with socialism, or the better standard of living that comes along with capitalism...? (And yes, I'm generalizing now, but just to make a point).
Anyway, I hope you figure this out soon enough because I really really really understand where you are coming from. Feeling safe is one of those things that I value most highly in life.
Oh, and I'm sorry for leaving a novel. Again. stop having such interesting discussion topics, will you! ;)
Angie, I did feel pretty safe in Utah...but I think even in a small town here in Ohio, I wouldn't feel as safe. The whole weapon thing alone makes me uneasy often enough...
Isa, deine Geschichte ist noch viel 'scarier'. Henry hat nur vergessen, die Tuer und das Fenster zu zumachen. Aber zuerst hatte ich mich echt erschrocken, und dachte, jemand hat versucht einzubrechen.
Du kannst gern so viele Kommentare, und so lange Kommentare wie du willst hinterlassen. Ich habe grade gedacht, abgesehen von Sicherheit, gutem Brot, Krankenversicherung, die man sich leisten kann, und ein paar anderen Kleinigkeiten, fehlen mir am meisten ein paar Europaeische Freunde hier. Ich liebe meine Amerikanischen Freunde. Aber es hilft unheimlich, ein paar Leute zu haben, die in Europa gelebt haben, und in den USA, und damit einfach gewisse Aspekte nachvollziehen koennen, und verstehen, die jemand der nur in einem Land gelebt hat, nicht wirklich ganz verstehen kann.
Very interesting topic Fran and one I'd like to read more about. Do you know of any books/articles that discuss the crime rates and types in US versus European communities? I know I just read recently about a teenage shooting spree that happened in Germany last month so I'm wondering if the safety issue is perhaps more of a perceived issue as opposed to a reality--again it very well could be a documented difference, I just don't know. I live in the middle of nowhere and still always lock my doors because I know if anything did happen there is no one around to help and it would take police a long time to respond. I talked with Quinn a lot about this in Germany last year--like letting the kids run off in the mall by themselves and such. It really is a pretty complex issue.
Oh--and I really like the practice I get trying to decipher your German comments. I need to spend more time working on my German.
Isa--I'd really like to read the article you mentioned if you happen to have the chance to double check the reference for me. Thanks!
Serenity Rachel, I'll try and find it. It was a few months back so I'm not sure that I have access to the article still. But I would like to re-read it, too.
Reni, I'm sure perceptions can be misleading, and partially are. Clearly, no country is completely safe, and mugging, break-ins, robberies, shootings etc. can and do happen anywhere.
However, I have indeed read a lot of research that shows that crime rates are a lot lower in Europe. I'll try and find some of those stats for you and post them. Also, the shooting in Germany happened shortly after a few mass shootings in the states (Alabama I think?). This is a psychological phenomenon that often times when a certain violent act gets publicized (suicide, murder, shooting spree), the following days you will find the numbers for the same act go up dramatically. So, after a suicide was in the news, the suicide rates everywhere go up for a couple of days etc. People seems to have a tendency to copy such things.
However, you bring up a good point. After that shooting in Germany, I read a lot about German gun laws, and was actually very, very surprised at our gun laws, how many people own guns, etc. So, maybe it's not as safe as I feel, but statistically most European countries, including Germany have lower crime rates than the US.
One book that I can just recommend like the scriptures is "The American Paradox" by David G. Myers. Definitely a book worth anyone's time.
Fran, I like your posts. I have the same feeling but keep telling myself I was brought here for a reason, and so I try fighting all my anxieties, but I'm also quite surprised at the proportion of the population here that is "rough". Teanu tells me it was only three hundred years ago that this nation was organized, and it was explored by rough Europeans, while Europe has a very long tradition of society polished by the "Nobles". He thinks any younger nation established by rough and adventurous people is less safe ( Australia? New Zealand?) Who knows...
About actual versus perceived violence in Europe vs the US: Of course Europe isn't completely safe, either. There is the mafia in Italy, for one. There have been school shootings in Germany, and even one in Finland. But I think what Fran and I are talking about is more the general level of safety.
While it is true that there are murderers and thieves in Europe as well, there aren't as many spontaneous crimes in Europe. For example, sporadic and unplanned breaking and entering rates are much lower in Europe (I'll get the stats to you if I can find them somewhere). It's the spontaneous crimes I personally am most worried about... a guy losing his temper and pulling out his gun in a store... a young teenager in need of some money breaking into a house, then being surprised by the owners, using a knife to get his way.. etc. I am worried by the fact that a lot of people have guns and that violence is a common way to react to societal aggravations.
Interestingly enough, in the US I was also afraid of law enforcement. I was worried that a cop might shoot me "accidentally" in pursuit of a criminal, I was afraid of their brutality in dealing with the people. I was afraid of some aspects of the government, too. And I think it is fears of corrupt authority figures that, at least in my case, have made me feel unsafe in the US. I didn't trust police as much as I do here. I didn't trust certain government agencies as much as I do here.
Well said Isa! Maybe I can blog the topics going through my mind, and you can write what I'm actually thinking. ;)
Ok, here are some googled 'facts' to begin with. Germany's population is 82 million, which is approximately (and now I'm wondering if this is really true) as much as the population of CA, Texas and NY combined (respectively 36 million, 24 million and then 19 million adding up to 79 million, so 3 million less than Germany, but whatever).
Violent crime rates for CA, Texas and NY combined in 2007 (this includes violent crimes, murder, rape, assault, robbery - no thefts, burglaries, arson etc.) is: 785,988 crimes. Source http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/nycrime.htm
Now let's look at Germany. Crime rate for violent crimes, murder, assault, robbery, rape in 2007 is: 435,579
Source (Statistics right from the Government agency):http://www.spiegel.de/pdf/0,5534,17948,00.html
What did we learn? Violent crime seems to have been almost twice as high in the US than in Germany in 2007. Now remember, all I did was add up the population of some US states to equal Germany's population, and then looked the combined number of violent crimes in those US states and in Germany. This is not perfect information, but I think it gives us an idea and clearly shows that the higher violence level we perceive in the US is not completely unwarranted. :)
Actually, what I really wanted with this post though was everyone to comment on that nice picture, and how serene and peaceful it looks. Isn't Germany so beautiful?
The picture is beautiful Franny. I wish I were tougher, and more vigilant, so you would feel safer. I love hearing everyone's perspectives because I've never really thought deeply about "saftey" as a commodity. I think it may be better to compare German city to American city rather than 3 select states to Germany. In my stats class I'm learning that you could probably do something with chi squares or a linear regression (something like that) in order to compare cities (with differing population densities) and crime rates. Actually, I should do that for my project I have to do. Help me find the data and I'll analyze it. I guess I'll just have to flex my mental muscles to get the thieves to stay away.
Henry
here are two articles that might be of interest (albeit not the orignal ones I talked about earlier):
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/03/magazine/03european-t.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20090501/cm_csm/ycorson.
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