Well, with 31 weeks of pregnancy, and just a few meager weeks left until I am becoming a Mom, I thought I'd write something about pregnancy. Of course, I just forgot why I wanted to write about this and what I was going to say, but I'm sure it'll come back to me.First of all I think I should mention that this has been a far better experience than I anticipated. Granted, my boobs are so huge that they may easily be mistaken for my pregnancy belly (expect of course they are sitting just a wee bit too high and there are two of them...), but other than that, it really has been a nice and easy pregnancy. There has been no mentionable morning sickness (1 week of bad nausea), no cravings, no sensitivities, no nothing really. For a week or two my ankles started swelling, but after making an effort to really drink 2-3 liters of water each day, and putting my feet up a bit each day, that went completely away as well. I have been very comfortable, sleeping well, eating well, and have been able to do whatever I felt up to. Just in the last few days I noticed getting tired just a little sooner than usual and bending over is not much fun anymore. But that really is it. Now I just keep hoping that things will continue to go smoothly and that I wont suddenly gain 20 pounds in the last 8-9 weeks (so far I have only gained 16 pounds since the start of the pregnancy- yipee).
However, nice as things have been, I also realize that now I am getting nervous. Right now pregnancy feels so easy that I don't think about it much and feel that it could continue on indefinitely without me being bothered. But I realize this baby is coming soon, and that things will change...and it scares me. I wonder whether and how I'll be able to be a good mother. Can I teach her all those things I deem important and want her to learn? What if she is a really problematic child? What if she is sick? What if she doesn't stay long with us? Then I also freak out thinking about labour, delivery and breast feeding. I realize this baby has to come out somehow...who will drive me when Henry isn't here? Will there be enough time to make it to the hospital? How do I figure out when actual labour has started (I know, I know...I've read all there is on the topic, but it's still all theory)? How will labour and delivery go? And I don't even want to think about breast feeding...Then I wonder how this will affect our relationship. I have truly enjoyed the last 21/2 years alone with Henry. Being with him, spending time with him, talking, cuddling, just being there for each other is such a wonderful thing. We are both excited for our little girl to join us, but I have my moments where I worry and wonder how our relationship will change with a new little family member. It seems inevitable that there will be changes, but somehow I don't want anything to change. I love how things are...arghhh.
And then I worry about the sleep deprivation. I don't do well without sleep. Of course, if our little girl takes after my side of the family, sleep shouldn't be an issue. But, you never know.
And so I sit here and wonder and worry, while still being excited for our little girl to come. She's kicking around while I'm typing this. What will she be like? Who will she look like? Will she have hair (I hope so)? Will she like music and nature and books? Will she be outgoing or more reserved? Lots of things I wonder about...
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5 comments:
I'm glad that you've had a good pregnancy. I wish I could say that mine don't bother me much...
You guys will be great parents. I think I discovered the secret to getting a baby accustomed to nights and days...give her a blessing. Rob gave Dylan and Evelynn a blessing when they were just days old to help them sleep at night. So far, both of them caught on to sleeping at night within a week of being born. It's sooo nice!
This was a nice post. When I was reading it, I felt it was my diary, because I felt the very same during my pregnancy, even the second. I was wondering so much how they'll be, if I could be able to do everything, and always have love and patient with my family and so.I guess many women may feel the same. But you know, this is much better that what I thought it would be.I feel I have the strength I needed and Andrea is so easy going, that I keep saying why I waited soooo long to have her with us! I'm really enjoying my kids and my husband. I love to see him around them, hugging and playing with them. Life is jsut great. Family is the best.
Fran,
For me, breastfeeding was the most difficult thing I had ever done. I am not exaggerating. But I can't tell you how glad I am that I pushed through that nightmare. The breastfeeding relationship I have with my daughter now is worth every agonizing moment I lived through at the beginning. Honest.
I hope you have an easier time than I did, but if you need a breastfeeding cheerleader, you call me.
Julie
Fran - it's so good you're writing all this stuff down now. I look back at when I was pregnant with Max and have already forgot too much about how I was feeling, the experience of him kicking, sore/swollen feet, etc. Keep writing all of your feelings down...even little things...because you'll want to go back and remember them.
You look so cute in the picture, too!
It's so fun to hear you are doing well. Yay! You'll be a great Mom, chick-a-dee.
Love you,
S
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