Us Pattersons

So, we tried to take some pictures of us today, as a family of four. Not the best quality, but it makes me so happy to look at them and think of how much I love each person in those pictures...ehm, probably with the exception of me. I'm really not loving me as much as the other 3 people, but right now I'm feeling pretty good even about myself. I feel so incredibly blessed. Life has been so good to us. The last weeks have been so stressful and hard, with me having almost a constant knot in my stomach, and worrying 24/7. Oh and praying about every hour for Henry's success at the VA. But, now things are calming down. Henry's been getting great feedback from the VA, and we're pretty darn sure he'll pass - unless they're evil liars out there. We don't think so. We've been feeling so strengthened and up-lifted by all the prayers, and I really think a lot of things have worked out for us because of the prayer and faith of all our family and friends. Like Alba simply turning on her own, and not needing a version, like me going into labor at the most convenient time, like Henry succeeding despite little sleep and stress, like having the right attendings at the right time, or having the right thoughts, or...I could go on. I truly feel Heavenly Father's love for me, and our little family, and that we're carefully watched over. And I feel so happy marveling at my little family and the goodness of life. Thanks also to all of you who fasted, prayed and thought of us. Truly thank you! Henry will get his final evaluation on Wednesday. I expect it to be quite good. And then we'll go and party!

Happy Hellish Valentine's

I'm so glad I found Henry. With that said, we're going through hell right now, and will be for the next 3-4 weeks (and potentially thereafter depending on how things play out). I'm so stressed and nervous, I'm surprised I haven't gone into labor yet. I know I won't gain much weight though, because my stomach is in knots and eating is close to impossible. So, if any of you want to include us, particulary Henry, in your prayers for the next weeks, I'd love it. I remember how I felt strength beyond my own last year about this time, when I knew lots of people were praying for us. We're in a pretty similar situation again, and I'll take anything that will lift us up and help us make it through these tough times. We just need kind of a miracle. That's all.

But, at the end of the day, I'm still so glad to have Henry. True hell would be being without him. :) I hope you all have a great Valentine's.

Sophia's First Prayer

The other day Sophia said her first prayer. It went like this:

Me: Lieber Vater im Himmel (Dear Heavenly Father)
Sophia: Himmel (Heaven)
Me: Danke fuer's Essen (thank you for the food)
Sophia: Danke Essen (thanks food)
Me: Wir haben dich lieb (we love you)
Sophia: Reis (Rice). Amen.

Till We Meet Again

It's time to let you go, so today we had to say our final good-bye. We'll always love you and will be eager to hold you in our arms, whether you come back to us at another time or whether we have to wait to meet you.

Much love,
Mama, Papa and Sophia

P.S. The surgery went well, I guess. I'm at home trying to rest and recover, and most importantly eat! I haven't responded much to comments on the blog, or emails, and I apologize. I've read them all, and Henry and I are both incredibly grateful for all the prayers, love, support, empathy etc. we've received in the last month. I really feel that my burdens have been lightened as you have all 'mourned with those who mourn, and comforted those who stand in need of comfort'. And I don't think I've ever felt the results of prayers on our/my behalf as strongly as in the last weeks. Thanks so much!

Prayers please!!!!

I really need prayers right now I think. After thinking about it, I realize I really, really need to find a full-time job that I can keep (or that'll keep me) till the middle of June. If not, I basically wasted a whole year working crappy jobs for in-state tuition that we will end up having to pay after all next year. It's pretty frustrating to think/realize that. And it's even harder at this point for me to feel confident. After a record of getting fired from two jobs (has that even happened to anyone I know?????) my confidence in my ability find a job and keep it are pretty low to gone. I really question my self, my abilities, and what I obviously are doing wrong...it's pretty depressing. Also depressing is that time is working against me, and I don't have too much time to find a job.

I really need prayers...that I'll be confident, and that the right thing will come up and things will work out somehow (if it's God's will I guess...). So, if you don't mind...