Pictures and Circumcision

As promised, I should throw out one controversial thing here, right?

So, based on a news article about a circumcision ruling in Germany that tried to make circumcision illegal in one area, Henry and I ended up looking into circumcision again. When we tried to really read up on it more, we were shocked...

• shocked at circumcision is being done usually
• shocked at how much can go wrong
• shocked at how often stuff goes wrong
• shocked at how absolutely unnecessary it is
• shocked at why people do this when there is no need at all and no benefit

It's been an interesting thing to read up on again. I know I've brought this topic up here before. But now that I looked into it more, I just cannot comprehend why anyone is doing this. There is 0 medical need or benefit. Oftentimes, it's a rather painful (and LONG!!!) procedure for a newborn. Mistakes happen frequently, and can come with all kinds of negative side-effects to the child, and all that for...I don't even know what. The most often reason cited is so that "they look like dad", which is the strangest reason to me. I mean, we don't give kids the same clothes, or hair cuts like dad. If dad had gotten a tattoo would be put the same tattoo on the child? Probably not. It's all so weird to me, to put it nicely. But mostly it just made me really support Germany's stance. Parents should not be allowed to remove healthy body parts from their children without clear medical need. Henry feels even more strongly about this now. In fact, he was pretty, urm, *upset* to put it nicely, when we read up on it all. He feels robbed even...not that he's holding it against his parents, but he sure wishes they would have not made this choice.

So, anyone wanna pick up the circumcision debate again? :)

Alright, if not...how about some pictures and videos?

Why, how do YOU watch your movies????

Playing in our "lovely" backyard...

Alba's fat lip from her wasp sting...

A morning ritual. Alba always wants to have her blanket wrapped around her when she wakes up. And then she'll walk throught he house like that, E.T. style...

7 plus 13.1

A little warning for my male readership. The following paragraphs deal with 'female' issues. So, read at your own discretion.

7 = the number of pregnancy tests I took since April 2...Sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Don't worry, I don't need any biology lessons. I do think it's rather descriptive though of what the last month was like. A little OCD? Yeah. Maybe. Apparently my body has just barely recovered from the D and C, since I just barely started a period that I could recognize, for sure, as such. Up till two days ago, it was all more guessing, with lots of random little bleeding here and there. Which is why I kept testing, wondering if I my hcg levels had really gone down, or if maybe this was the 'pregnancy spotting' I've read about, or if the sudden dizzy spells that lasted a few days were maybe a pregnancy sign, or just to see if maybemaybemaybe I'm simply pregnant. Well, no such luck. I had planned to take another test yesterday morning, just to be sure. But honestly, the amounts of blood this time around were not leaving any room for questions. So there. I'm sure you wanted to read about all my current fertility issues. All I've got to say is, 3 months have passed, and I'm not pregnant again. And it's really hard on me.

Supposedly your period starts up 4-6 weeks after your surgery - 3 months for me. And supposedly you get pregnant faster after a miscarriage. I've heard of plenty of people who got pregnant again after a miscarriage within 3 months. Not me, either. I guess 3 months really isn't that long of a wait. But, it hasn't taken that long with Sophia or with Baby. I am getting nervous. I feel my biological clock is ticking mercilessly, and there's no time for lengthy set-backs. We wanted a bunch of kids, and we wanted them before I'm 38. Ooops, that leaves me with only about 5 years to get out those 3-4 kids we wanted. And so I realize that sometimes life doesn't go as planned, and that I may just have to readjust, and deal with things as they come. It shouldn't be a big deal, because clearly there are things far worse in life. All that I know. And yet, I want to be pregnant so badly, and it's just so hard to see 'everyone' pregnant. Today in Relief Society, the 3 ladies to my right were all pregnant. One girl behind me was pregnant, and two were holding their babies. Of the 2 ladies to my left, one had a little baby, and one had her 4th baby the same time I had Sophia (so maybe they're done). Then there were a few more women scattered in the room who were pregnant, and in front of me was my Relief Society president cuddling with her newborn. At that moment I just wanted to cry, because I want a little baby so bad. I want Sophia to have a little sister. I want to hold a little newborn, smelling their sweet baby scent, feeling their soft hair and skin on my cheek, seeing their little yawns and stretches, and sleepy smiles, having their tiny hands wrap around my finger.





One of my friends just had her baby, and she posted her birth story. I was worried that all the stuff I just wrote about would come up and make me cry all over again if I read it. It was a little hard, but when I saw the picture of her having her little baby, and what she wrote, I saw Sophia's birth before my eyes. I was so happy to remembering that day. What moment in life is more magical and special than when you greet a new little human in the world, a little person who was the result of the deep love and trust a husband and wife share? Missing our baby is sad. Waiting and wondering about when/if another baby will join us is hard. But remembering how Sophia joined us, is pure joy. Seeing Sophia every day, smiling, singing, dancing, drawing, talking, exploring - bliss.

13.1 -the distance of my second half-marathon I ran yesterday. I had kind of planned to run this marathon, but thought initially that I'd be pregnant and the plan was to see if I can get/be fit enough to do this pregnant. Then Henry got put on remediation, we had the miscarriage, health worries, trip to Germany, more worries/depression/chocolate eating etc. I definitely haven't worked out much this year. And I have gained 7 lbs since February. I wasn't really ready to run this half-marathon. My bladder was full from the get-go, and I had to go No. 2 for the whole run as well. I was also on my period. And I wasn't in shape. It also happened to rain, and I was running this one by myself. I think at mile 9 I just wanted to quit, and at mile 10 I had some weird breathing issues. But then I thought of our baby, and decided I'd run for her. I'd keep going because I can't quit on...well, on me, on our hopes, on happiness, on life, on having faith. At that moment I felt like if I can just hang in running, I can hang in with everything else. It really wasn't easy to finish (especially not the last 2 miles that were hills), but I'm glad to report that I hung in there. And I even ran this race faster than the last one, by about 9 minutes.

I have to think of Paul's words (2 Tim. 4:7):" I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." Yesterday I did just that. And I hope one day I can look at my life and say those same words. So, here's to fighting, and finishing, and keeping the faith.

Test Results

Everything is normal, meaning I don´t have that funky syndrome. I will say I was really nervous just now calling them, and waiting to hear the results. But, I am glad all is well. Now, if I can get Sophia to get over her fever ( 102.2 WITH tylenol) and feeling all sick and clingy, maybe, just maybe I can start having fun. Ah life! It always keeps you on your toes.

Pretty Please...

let there be an end to this nightmare. I just had my OB/GYN call me. They send the 'tissue' they remove during the D and C to pathology, usually to check for molar pregnancies and other random stuff. Whew, no molar pregnancy for me. However, my doc mumbled something about some vein stuff that I didn't really understand, that probably everything is fine, they just will do some blood tests when I come in to test for 'Antiphospholipid Syndrome' or something fancy like that. Just a little something that puts you at higher risk for stillbirths and miscarriage, clotting and thrombosis etc. Not like I fit the usual candidacy profile. Just something else to keep me worried and nervous till I leave for Germany. Urgh...

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'll go in for surgery. We've made a decision. It wasn't easy, and it made me pretty upset in between, reading about abortion in regards to a procedure that bad luck has kind of forced on me. It's hard to think that my loss is in a way someone else's 'relief'. Hmphhh. Anyway, we felt right about the decision, but I'm still a little nervous. Surgery is surgery, and there are some small but horrible risks (like infertility) associated with a 'd and c'. I just hope that all goes well, and that we then can move forward. January 2010 was not the best month, and I'm ok with a happy month to come our way now.

Healthy???

Since we're already, sort of, on the topic of health, I thought I'd add a few more thoughts, or questions rather. Recently I've been wondering/thinking more about healthy eating. I really want to eat healthy (despite all the ice cream fall outs I have). I've been making efforts and changes in my eating habits for years and years now, trying to improve how I eat, and trying to learn more about what is nutritious and what's not etc. But, it's gotten a bit complicated. I start finding it's not so easy to know what's healthy as some information seems so contradictory.

For example, I've been a good 'low-fat dairy' user (like low-fat or no-fat sour cream, yogurt, etc.). Well, now I read that's actually not that healthy. Then, for a while I was doing rice milk and the like, just to read that all that soy milk and rice milk isn't necessarily that good. Often times sugars seem to be the culprit, but I've also read some stuff about soy and how it can actually be really harmful if you have to much of some kind of soy stuff. Or how about organic foods? They are not more nutritious than other foods, and I wonder how much damage the pesticides really do? Then again, who wants to take their chances with that kind of stuff? Or, how about whole wheat? I figured, whole wheat is always best, but no. If I buy muffins for example, some high-fiber white versions 'apparently' are better. Huh...Anyway, it goes on and on, and I realize I find myself more confused than getting knowledgable.

Right now, my attitude is that if I keep eating lots of fresh vegetables, along with a fair amount of fruits, whole wheat products and then some lean meat, some dairy, some good oils and nuts, mixed with lots and lots of H2O drinking and exercise, I'm probably living healthy. But, I'd still wish it was more clear how I can improve the eating habits I have so far. I'm pleased with of the habits we already have, like basically never drinking soda and mostly drinking water, rarely having sugary treats at home (I usually never buy or make anything sweet, beyond occasional ice cream), making most food from scratch, eating lots of veggies, usually not having snack foods around (like chips, crackers, etc.), and we only do whole wheat/whole grain (like brown rice, whole wheat pasta, bread etc.). But, there is probably a lot more I could do. But what oh what is TRULY healthy???

So, what do you think is healthy eating? Do you have some credible research to go along with some of your convictions (something I can read?)? What are some healthy eating habits you have? What have been some effective fixes for some of your not-so-healthy eating choices?

Give Me a New Post or Give Me Death

Maybe that's what some of you are thinking. I think it has crossed my mind a few times as I checked on other peoples' blogs. No pressure though. :) Well, at least here is a new blog from me, written at the lovely hour of 4.06 am. Everyone's sleeping except for me. While Sophia is doing so much better at sleeping through the night, I'm not. I wake up because I'm hot. I wake up because I need to go to the loo. I wake up because I do. Argh...

By the way, my listing all those 'lyn' names wasn't because I'm baby hungry. Nope. It just somehow popped into my head. And I've always liked thinking about names I liked. Realizing how popular those 'lyn' names are in America, have made it clear though that if I want an international name for future kids, a 'lyn' ending is not really an option. That's all.

So, urm...what's new? Quite frankly, I haven't really blogged anything because I haven't had anything to say. For a moment, I was going to start a debate on circumcision. Should boys be circumcised or not these days? They used to do it in the US because of health reasons, but that has now turned out to be bogus. So, should you torture a newborn little guy with such a thing? Yes? No? Why? Why not? Go ahead and comment if you have something to say. I don't think I'd do it. Of course, then I hear guys saying the kid will be made fun of, because everyone else is being circumcised. As a girl I clearly don't have the insight on how much penis comparison goes on between boys, but really? Do they compare and make fun?

I was also contemplating a post asking for your favorite healthy recipes, and your favorite children's books. I've run out of good healthy meal ideas, and I'm always looking for more good children's books.

Then I thought about starting a political debate, because Troy keeps venting about the course of America and I thought he'd be happy to have a debate he can join to vent some more. But, right now I'm kind of tired of politics.

So, now I'll write about how I took Sophia to the pediatrician today. We made an appointment on Monday, after I talked to the nurse saying that Sophia hadn't gained any weight in the last 6 weeks, and that she'd been pooping 3-4 times a day in the last 10 days or so. The nurse suggested to get her checked. So, in I came. Turned out Sophia had gained 12 oz. and was just perfectly fine. At that point I really dreaded seeing the doctor, feeling like such a fool to bring in my daughter, and I was worried that the doctor would be really curt, and kinda make me feel stupid, too about bringing her in. Nope. Not at all. He was supernice, asked a bunch of questions, including what made me concerned, discussed those concerns, checked her out some more. And then asked me how everything else is going like eating. He actually told me that when they are a year old they're only required a minimal amount of solids each day (I swear, I think he said 1 TABLESPOON of solids). I was so surprised, and told him Sophia eats way more than that. I told him how much she eats, and he said that's plenty and she's totally fine then. That was such a relief to me because I kept thinking she doesn't eat enough, and it's been a bit of a stressor. Now I can relax. Except, he did say that if she doesn't poop every day she needs more liquids. So, now we have to work on that. ...Anyway, I was so happy when I left the doctors office. Happy that Sophia is healthy. Happy that the doctor was so nice. Happy about new insights.

Then we had a great rest of the day. I took Sophia back to the water park again, where she had a lot of fun. And in the evening we played with daddy, read some books, sang songs on the piano, and went to the swing. Sophia really is so much fun. She loves 'playing' the piano, and actually tries to sing. It's the cutest thing when she does. Who would have thought your own kids would be so much fun? That's with the exception of her screaming moments of course, when I dare change her diaper, or get her dressed.

Yup. And, what's new with everyone else?

Did I mention that we're flying to Oregon for a week at the beginning of September? Or that I'm dying for some Cafe Rio food? Or that we're going to King's Island in 1 week? I gotta say: Life is good right now.

The Summary

I figured after the lengthy debate we had on vaccines, I better sum our insight up into one, nice, manageable packet.

The participants:

Fran - uninformed debate host
Reni -smart enough to be a doctor
Troy - almost IS a doctor (of immunology even)
Julie - is not a blog but is a walking data base
Isa - asthmatic person who's not crazy enough to not vaccinate against German Measles
Amanda - eats granola and vaccinates
Deanna - prefers a shot over the flu
Camey - amazed at how interesting my blog is
Angie - had the last word

The debate:

• we all agreed that more transparency and information in regards to vaccines, side-effect, safety, research, whatever is needed
• we all agreed that communication and information between doctors and patients/parents needs to be much better than it is
• we all agreed that more research needs to be done in regards to long-term effects both of having had a virus as well has having been vaccinated
• we all agreed that there can be serious side-effects to vaccines
• it appears that the risks of a serious side-effect from a vaccine are far smaller statistically than the serious risks of contracting a vaccine-preventable disease
• it was brought up that auto-immune diseases are dramatically on the rise, and the numbers of people with auto-immune disease seem to be far higher than any numbers from vaccine related side-effects or disease numbers
• it was also brought up that vaccines could over-stimulate the immune system and lead to these auto-immune diseases. We had not a lot of discussion on this and were not able to successfully discredit this notion or to clearly prove it correct. It's an idea everyone needs to research on their own
• we were informed that vaccines go through three stages of research and testing before they hit 'the market'. You can also report adverse reactions to VAERS
• The flu vaccine is not a crap shot
  
• Fran had nothing good to say, but think she made a decent case that probably a lot (if not most) serious adverse reactions to vaccines go unreported. She feels this needs to be improved dramatically!!!
• The overall sentiment seemed to be though that the expert information of the CDC is the best scientific data we have (even if not perfect) and we'd all be better of following their advise than just trying to make sense of complex data with our own limited brains
• We also discussed the consequences on the overall population when too many people choose to not vaccinate (herd immunity breaks up and outbreaks will be on the rise). There was a question on how ethical it is to not vaccinate, and putting the population as a whole at greater risk because of that.
  
• I recommend that you ponder these things, and your own ethical behavior while eating a bowl of granola.

Did I miss anything?

Addendum

If anyone is interested in vaccination schedules and general stats for vaccines in Europe, here's a link: http://www.euvac.net/graphics/euvac/background.html

Also, here is a list of the states that do allow for philosophical exemption from vaccines. All other states only allow medical and religious exemptions.

Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Idaho
Louisiana
Maine
Minnesota
New Mexico
North Dakota
Ohia
Oklahoma
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Washington
Wisconsin

Supposedly, a lot of these states have also had increased numbers of vaccine-preventable diseases. Research it for yourself though.

Pus Insights and Pus Inside

Well, whaddayaknow? Sophia still has a really infected left ear - full of puss and all. No wonder she cries in her sleep. I was glad I took her in, but I'm sad that my baby still has to deal with this. However, talking a little with my new, nice pediatrician, I gained a few insights.

1. He said about 60% of ear infections do clear up on their own within a few days
2. He said mild ear infections (a little fluid or redness) is usually not mentioned by doctors, and those ear infections CAN be caused by allergies.
3. He said a full-blown, serious infection like in Sophia's pussy ear, is usually best treated with antibiotics, especially since I've waited a few days already and she hasn't improved on her own. He also thinks these kind of ear infections are usually a result of anatomy (family genetics) as well as just a lot of germs taken into the body.
4. I personally think that my homeopathic ear drops probably work well for the mild stuff, but probably not for the hard-core ear infection...I'm thinking about using it preventatively though once we're through with the antibiotics.

I feel enlightened. Battle plan: wash all my toys, clothes, sheets etc. and totally watch what Sophia puts in her mouth in the next month or so. No more toy sharing with other kids. And, once we're through with the antibiotics (oh how I dread this already), a check-up with the doctor and my ear infection drops to prevent another infection (hopefully - I mean, it's worth a try, right?).

Poor Sophia. I hope she gets better soon!

I'm a Fan

I really am a fan of my daughter. And I probably should be, seeing how I am her mom. But, I just love her so much and think she's the cutest little thing. Just now I was going through the gazillion pictures we have of her, and thought how fast she's growing. It seemed just like yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital, her whole body so tiny she was drowning in the car seat and we were so afraid to hurt her while driving that Henry took each curve with probably 10 miles. And now she's on the verge of crawling, talking, and who knows what else. It's so fun to see her develop and discover her personality. She definitely is showing more of her strong-willed side. I wonder where on earth she might have gotten that from? Mommy and Daddy are so mild-mannered and gentle... ;)

So, today I went to Whole Foods and got myself some herbal earache/ear infection remedy thingy (called Garlic-Mullein Oil drops). Sophia ended up having an ear infection 2 weeks ago. We finished the antibiotics a week ago and she seemed better. But now it seems to start again. She started having a bit of a runny nose again along with goopy eyes. Also, in the last couple of days she's gotten (once again) weird about her sleep. Now she doesn't necessarily wake up, she just kind of cries a little in her sleep, but then stops. Huh? It has me worried (of course), wondering if something is hurting, or if she's having bad dreams, or if something else is wrong I don't know about...Right now I figure it's her ears. I'll take her in to the Doc tomorrow to see if it's all cleared up or not. Why do kids get ear infections anyway? I just read about 3 theories: one is children reacting allergic to something (like dairy, wheat, soy etc.). I figure since Sophia hasn't really eaten much of anything and just had plain yoghurt a few times, it's hopefully/probably not that. The next theory was lack of certain nutrients like zinc, iron etc. I wonder if this may be a problem. I mean, my baby is 8 months old and basically only living off of breast milk - and I'm always a little low on iron. And she's such a pastey girl, she almost LOOKS anemic. Hmmm, who knows. Maybe they can check tomorrow. The last theory was that of simple anatomy - the whole fluids not draining well because of bone structure etc.

I don't know..what do you guys think? Has anyone tried any kind of home remedies for common childhood ailments and found them successful? I'd like to hear about your favorites. I remember using home remedies for all kinds of stuff and a lot of them worked great. Like, when your cuticles get infected, we always dipped the sick-o finger into superhot soap water for as long as you could bear it. Repeat a few times a day, and the infection disappears. It'll be interesting to see if those ear drops works if Sophia has another ear infection. I'm just so hesitant to pump her full of antibiotics again if I can avoid it. Maybe I also just dread batteling her another 10 days twice a day with medicine. She really, REALLY hated it and at the end it was near impossible to get anything into her. Good thing you always get a little extra. :)

Well, as you can tell I don't have anything interesting to say. We enjoyed a relaxing day, sunshine, swinging in the swings, laughing, exploring grass, eating tasty food and just loving being together. Now I'm off to bed to read Harry Potter - The Half Blood Prince again. I'm so excited for the movie to come out. Twilight will be next, and then the year is over. Time really flies.

To Vaccinate or To Not Vaccinate - That is the Question!

Ok, guys - here it is: the vaccine DISCUSSION (not battle)! I want all of us to walk away having gained new insights. So, since I know this is a controversial topic and a lot of us tend to have strong opinions and views, let's all agree to keep things nice. If you have a good argument, make it. If you have views, share them. But let's try and not label the views and choices of others in any way (like anyone who doesn't vaccinate is an idiot, or those who vaccinate are uninformed and careless or...whatever, you get the idea). Let's try to back up our reasons and make nice, logical arguments (if you can, plain opinions are fine, too but they usually don't convince people as well). Anyone (all those anonymous readers) is welcome to comment if you have something to say. With that said, here's what I want to throw out there in as organized a manner as I can:

I should start off by saying that I don't think the issue of vaccinations is a black/white matter. As a matter of fact, I still haven't made up my mind where exactly I stand on the issue and how I want to proceed in this area with my own kids. I feel the more I read the more confused I get as to what's best to do. I see problems either way, and for that reason I think discussion is valuable. In the end though, I think what we are all trying to achieve is to minimize risks of harm to our children. That, I assume, we have all in common. And that is my motivation. If I could only protect my child from any potential harm, I would like to do that. Unfortunately, simply being alive though means we're at risk of dying or being harmed in one way or another. And I dare say that no matter what we do and how hard we try there will always be a risk. The smallest most innocent thing could kill us, or we may walk away from a dangerous situation unharmed. You just never know.

There are two main things that concern me with the whole vaccination thing.

1. The process - with this I mean, how vaccines are given, when they are given, how they are researched, produced, how reactions are measured/reported, how people are informed etc. Basically everything related to vaccinations that doesn't have to do with the actual vaccine and what it does/does not do.

2. The vaccines and the risks that come with vaccinating or not vaccinating.

Let's start with No. 1. I find it hard to assess accurate risks from disease or vaccine if the system isn't working right. One problem we face is information. I know when Sophia got vaccinated, I only wanted Dtap, and Polio...instead I got 3 more and I didn't even know what they were. I was just informed in passing, and bam, she had gotten 4 shots before I could even think twice. I'll never forget how Sophia screamed that day. She's never screamed as much as then in her life. She screamed for hours afterwards, and was still crying in her sleep! I think we put so much trust in doctors and the medical system that a lot of important things get missed. Proper information on what vaccines are available, what is recommended, what is necessary, risk and benefits etc. should be discussed. But nothing gets mentioned. Time is money and doctors don't have enough of either. Parents don't get informed and a 'one size fits all' approach is taken - which I doubt ever represents quality health care. This lack of information and discussion causes other problems. I read a few accounts of parents who noticed mild or severe reactions to vaccines and doctors just dismissed it and wouldn't report those reactions. If reactions don't get reported properly then our numbers of vaccine risks get screwed (I guess the statistical term is skewed...).

Another problem with the 'one size fits all' approach and lack of discussion is that not all children are the same. I read one report from a mom, who had her baby prematurely (3lbs and a couple of ounces). When the baby was 2 months old, the pediatric nurse insisted that he needed his shots. The baby was stilly teeny, but received the shots. 24 hours later he was dead. Maybe he was too little to handle 5-6 vaccines all at once. But because vaccination has become such a routine, we don't pay attention to the little details. How many doctors wait for a child to be healthy to vaccinate, or even take overall health into account? I think the approach is more of a check-list approach (baby is 2 months old so he needs to be vaccinated, no questions asked). How many are open to discussion and information with parents? A lot is done or not done merely out of convenience, or for money's sake. And that to me is always a bad idea. It does nothing to improve my trust in the health care system.

Another thing I read about that concerns me is the research that is done with vaccines. The diptheria vaccine, for example, supposedly has never been tested and researched in accordance with todays standards. It's just been around for so long, we just assume it all good and dandy. No questions asked. It makes me wonder how well most vaccines are truly researched, and then even if they are well researched, how do we test them? By pumping them into little kids and then see what happens? I know there are some people who think all things medical are safe and kosher. But, I don't think that's the case. I think we put a lot of stuff out on the market where we don't even really know what it does. We just hope for the best and enjoy the money (I mean, the pharmaceutical companies enjoy the money). It is scary to me to think that I'm putting all this 'unknown' stuff into my child's body and no one can even say for sure what it does, short term or long term. Ok, those are just some thoughts on general vaccine stuff.

On to No. 2 - Vaccines. My main question with vaccinating vs. not vaccinating is what poses the greater risk. As I mentioned before, I know there are some people who don't question medical things, and may think vaccines are completely safe. But if that was the case, we probably wouldn't have a need for a vaccination injury court. Let's face it, they DO come with risks. The question is what risk is greater - the risks that come with vaccines or the ones that come without vaccines. And, I really don't know. I see pro's and con's both ways. So, let's discuss some of the vaccines. I'm interested in debate on Dtap, Polio and MMR...maybe Hib. Hepatitis B and Chickenpox are a joke to me, so I'm not interested in those, but if someone feels that have something really important to say about those, go ahead. I just feel that the risks of kids getting Hepatitis B seems fairly silly (unless you belong to that promiscous high risk group) and I don't see what the danger of chicken pox is that now we need to be vaccinated against it. I'm also not too interested in flu shots...from what I understand, it's a guess each year which flu strain may be going around. Since it's more or less and educated guess/gamble, I feel the benefits are mediocre at best. (Get the wrong strain and you got hurt with a needle, potentially still sick, and pumped mercury into your body for nothing, get the right strain and you're still not necessarily protected...isn't the efficacy rate somewhere around 50%? - so, it doesn't seem extremely helpful, especially when it's not even that extremely likely that the flu will kill you or cause severe damage). Again, if you have something really important to say in regards to the flu, go ahead, but otherwise, I think it'd be good to focus on Dtap, Polio and MMR...and maybe Hib...Also, I think discussing the harm of the preservatives used to make vaccines is also important. I may add that at the end. How much aluminum, mercury and other crap can our bodies really handle, and especially how well can little babies handle that stuff. Can thimerosol really be blamed for autism (the courts decided no, and I'm not convinced yet either). Let's have those debates at the end maybe.

Here are some things I've found that make me unsure in regards to Dtap:

• Diptheria - supposedly the vaccine never got properly researched, and Diptheria death rates seems to have been on the decline even before the vaccine was introduced (it went from 7.2 deaths per 10,000 in 1911 to .9 deaths per 10,000 in 1935). That makes me wonder how necessary the vaccine is. However, I think this is a vaccine I'd still give to my child, though not at 2 months, since the risks associated with diptheria are pretty severe to me, and since the treatment of diptheria seems pretty severe as well, maybe trying to not get it to being with seems the best choice.
  
• Tetanus - one study showed that tetanus booster vaccinations cause T-lymphocyte blood count ratios to drop below normal, which can cause immunological disorders. Further findings include earlier problems with asthma and allergy (23% and 30 % respectively for vaccinated children under 10 years vs. no problems with the unvaccinated control group). Some rare side effects that have been reported are GBS, severe, life-threatening allergic responses, death. With all I've read, I'd probably still do a Tetanus shot, since the potential harm of the vaccine doesn't seem as great the potential harm of getting tetanus.
• One vaccine I'm not sure about: Pertussis (Whooping cough). From all I've read, these days the desease, which is still occuring aplenty, is rarel fatal. Those at greastest risk are children under 6 months. Now, while I'm sure this is not a fun disease to get, if there are no serious complications associated with it (other than potential death, which of course is the most serious of all things), and if people 'usually' don't die from it, then I don't see why this is so important for older kids/adults. Now, those at greatest risk from what I read are babies under 6months, and you're at greater risk of you're not well-nourished etc. (like less developed nations). But maybe a little baby is simply at risk because its body can't handle a lot of stuff - period. How likely is it that a baby can handle tons of vaccines (about 15 shots by 6 months) any better than it can whooping cough, which it may not even get, and if it does it may not even be so bad that the child will die. Is a child really better off with the shot (which is also not a guarantee of NOT getting the desease) and all its potential side effects on the young body than taking your risk of getting the disease? I really don't know. And here is some info that makes me wonder even more: there was a pertussis outbreak in Ohio and 82% of young children who got it, had been fully vaccinated. So, was the vaccine really worth it? And what about this finding? It seems that SIDS deaths skyrocket within 3 weeks after children receive a pertussis vaccine (going from .5 percent up to 70 percent at 21 days after the vaccine). Coincidence or correlation? The fact that another study found that breathing patterns changed right after the vaccine. They would monitor apnea and hypoapnea in this study in babies before and after the vaccine. Before there was basically no mentionable apnea and right after the vaccine, apnea and hypoapnea density was in the 1000s (Source, Vaccination: 100 years of orthodox research by Dr. Viera Scheibner, Blackheath Australia, 1993:59-70, 225-235.) Now, SIDS and breathing problems is not something I consider a relatively harmless side-effect...so, Pertussis shot? I'm not sure.

• Let's do MMR next. I've decided to make this shorter, because I'm getting tired of all the typing. If I exhaust myself now I have no strength to debate later. Here's my issue with MMR. First of all -why do we have to give them all at once? Rubella is not even dangerous for boys, or kids and the real risk is only in getting it while pregnant. Since the vaccine wears of after about 20 years, it seems silly to give that one to kids at 1 year of age. Why not at 10 years? I don't get it, and I think I'll do that one until my kids are older. I guess the only reason to give this vaccine to boys would simply be for herd immunity reasons (preventing an outbreak to prevent the chance of a vaccinated pregnant woman getting it...but then again how big is that risk really, and does it really outweigh the potential harm that comes from getting a vaccine????). My issues with mumps are the same as with Rubella, except that its serious complications are usually for teenage boys... So, maybe I'll do mumps, but not together with Measles and Rubella. Those will all have to be separate if at all. On to Measles:
  

Interesting Fact of Freedom

So, in preparations to have an educated discussion on vaccinations I've been reading away diligently. One thing I stumbled upon that startled me regarding the 'land of the free' was that vaccinations are actually mandatory. You can be denied school access, day care access, and be denied all kinds of governmental benefits if you're not vaccinated. Hmmmm, I thought. Then I wondered about Germany having mandatory vaccinations. And what do you know...they don't. Interesting, no?

7 Years

• It has taken me 7 years in this country to discover that there IS 'normal' tuna. I've never been a fan of the mushy, funky canned tuna, but thought that's all there is. It wasn't until the other day that I gave those funny 'solid and white Albacore' cans a closer look, to realize they were ALSO tuna - the 'normal' kind, for twice the price. Nice! Who knows what I'll discover next. Maybe Velveeta turns out to be 'real' cheese...
• Sophia seems to be getting better now. She ended up having an ear infection, and since she's been on the antibiotic a few days, she's started to sleep better again, and last night she finally ate some solids again as well - which is good since I think the antibiotic is giving her a bit of a diarrhea. Maybe I'll start sleeping better again soon too. Last night (and tonight) I was just wide awake in the middle of the night. Great...
  
• I got two pairs of cool, new glasses and a 6-months supply of contact lenses - all for only $300 because Henry is an Optometry student. Ahhhh, I love bargains - and my new glasses.
• The other day, or week or something, when the swine flu(ke) broke out, I had a little conversation with a friend (Thanks Reni) about vaccines. Since then I've had a new interest in the whole 'vaccine' topic and got myself a few books on the issue. I think I now see far more eye to eye with my friend now. So, be ready for a vaccine discussion soon! :) You gotta love all those controversial topics.
• There are 4 things I love about Germany : healthier foods being more easily available and affordable, alternative medicine not being as despised, more of an attempt to be green and conserve, and an overall more global mind-set. I was getting all sad the other day because I'd really like to be able to go for nice walks with Sophia in the stroller, maybe to the store or something, or to go on nice bike rides with her in a trailer. But alas, there's nowhere to walk here, and I'd not dare for a second to ride a bike here with Sophia in the back. I thought Utah was bad for biking and walking, but I have to say in comparison to Ohio, Utah is a biking/walking heaven. But really the best would be continuous sidewalks and bike paths - or at least a decent shoulder like in Utah. This article didn't help me not miss home a little (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/12/science/earth/12suburb.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Vauban&st=cse )
  
• I've been losing some weight. Yeah!
  

It's official...

I am the world's worst mom. I had a sneaky feeling before Sophia was born that that's what I'd end up being, but today confirmed it for me. Well, ok, since some mothers beat their children or starve them, maybe I am not the worst, just the second worst. What happened? Let me tell you...

Let me start by saying that Sophia all in all really is a mellow little girl, who rarely is fussy or cries. She really is very easy, so easy probably that I am getting totally spoiled. Last Saturday Sophia was kind of cranky in the morning. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, and was getting increasingly frustrated. She also was giving me a hard time when I tried to feed her some solids, and so eventually I just gave up, was annoyed, and got ready to drive somewhere with my mom. While we were in the car, Sophia suddenly started crying, and I was just getting annoyed again, because I couldn't figure out why she was so unhappy. I thought she was just being grumpy for no reason (since marvelous me couldn't find one). Well, when I turned to look at her, I saw that she had thrown up all over herself, the car seat, the car, everywhere...I was pretty sure that it was throw up, but she only threw up that one time, I wasn't sure. Now fast forward to today.

I hadn't slept much last night, and was really tired today when Sophia woke up at 7am (I had been up most of the night, having night mares etc.) . Well, she again started being cranky again, and tired me really didn't have much patience dealing with her. As the day progressed, we had a similar scenario like Saturday - cranky Sophia, nothing seemed to console her, she wouldn't go to sleep, she wasn't eating well, spit stuff out, made a mess, kept crying, wasn't happy. And what did I do? I got more and more annoyed, and so frustrated that eventually I just grabbed her and took her to her crib to let her cry herself to sleep. Ok, not quite. After 5 minutes or so, I had calmed down some and tried to comfort her - to no avail. Eventually she ended up in her crib again, whimpering herself to sleep. I felt crappy, tired, and frustrated for not having patience and not knowing how to deal with her better. Well, I have to say, I sure didn't feel better when she suddenly woke up from her nap she had barely started throwing up. Then she threw up again, and again, and it just kept coming till there was nothing left. Then she was just dry heaving, spitting up stomach acids etc. It was awful. She got so pale, and eventually just lay white and limp in my arms like a little ghost. Then she'd heave again, cry, trying to get the vomit up and out. And to top it off amongst all the puking, she also had a huge blow-out, and I had to somehow get the poopy clothes off, while she was puking, and...It was such a mess, and it was sooooooo sad to see my baby like this. I just had to cry for my little baby being so sick...and then I felt like a really horrible person, having so little patience, being so tough and heartless. I honestly think I am the worst mom ever...I mean, I could see how I had no clue on Saturday, but this time I should have known better.

So, I think it's official.

Where is Fran?

I am sure you have all missed reading my exciting posts, or so I like to think...Well, I have to say I have been feeling kind of void of inspiration for blog entries. I'm just chilling and getting fat on tasty German food. Sophia continues to behave like we never hopped across one big ocean, and I keep missing Henry.

I haven't done too many exciting things other than seeing family and friends. I have tried to read on how to use my camera properly to take better pictures. If I get to it, I will put together a photo shoot of things I love in Germany/things I hate in Germany. But only if I get to it.

So, what can I write? Today when I drove home from a RS activity with my sis in law and mom, we talked about home birthing and somehow ended up talking about the fact that Sophia got stuck with her shoulders during birth. When I said that my sister asked me whether her arm was ok, and I said yes. It turned out that one of the girls from my home ward here just had a girl where there are problems with the arm because she got stuck during birth. When I thought about it later, I almost cried. I remember that moment so well, and how crazy and scary it was, and I am so glad that everything turned out ok and that our little girl is healthy and happy. What a blessing!!! She is truly a joy (which of course she also would have been if she couldn't move her arm, or had 12 toes and no nose or whatever...).

Other than that, I don't have much to say right now. I am waiting for inspiriation. Tomorrow I will take Sophia swimming with her niece and nephews. Maybe we'll have some blog material after that.

Date Night

So, Henry, Sophia and I had a fun date night last night (NOT), hanging out at the ER. On Thursday afternoon I started feeling kinda sick. I had come down with a fever of 101.5 and felt real achy. I called my OB/Gyn who said to keep an eye on it over night, and we'll take it from there. Well, the night of course, was horrible. We had Henry's parents stay with us as well, so, our living room was "full" and my mom is currently occupying the "nursery", so when Sophia woke up at 1am and wouldn't go back to sleep for 2.5 hours there was nowhere to go except to stay in our bedroom. I was so sick I could barely feed her, so Henry got stuck with trying to call her down and get her to sleep. When she finally fell asleep, she woke up 2 hours later again, and...well, suffice it to say that Henry and I felt really exhausted and tired on Friday morning. I also still had a fever, and achiness, and kept changing between boiling and freezing so much that my teeth were shattering...it was such miserable day. Well, around 5pm, I felt real hot and thought I should check my temperature again. It read 103.7. I kept checking 4 more times, just to make sure, but got the same reading on two different thermometers each time. So, I called the OB/Gyn again, and she told me to go to the ER to get checked out since it was too high of a temperature for "nothing". Needless to say this wasn't very fun. Luckily the whole ordeal only took 4 hours, but about 2 hours into it, I was crying because I was tired, Sophia hadn't been eating well (or as usual) in the last 1-2 days, she hadn't pooped and peed as much as usual, Henry was with me, and again was missing out on time to get caught up with his school work, and now they were going to put me on an ER bed, with an IV access in my hand and I wasn't sure when and how I'd be able to feed my baby, and how long we'd be there etc. I was just a mess.

Well, it ended up that they couldn't find anything and that they gynecologist there thought that I was simply a little engorged which sometimes can give you a high fever. They did some X-rays, and a vaginal exam, blood samples, and urine samples and all...but nothing showed anything. So, they let us go at 9.30 pm. By then at least I was hungry again, and my fever seemed to be down, and things were getting better. We stopped at Wendy's, watched some Simpsons and crashed into bed at 11.30pm. Luckily, last night Sophia was a team player and didn't wake up until 3am, ate, went back to sleep, didn't wake up again till 6am, ate, went back to sleep and just up again at 9am. Thanks Sophia for letting mommy sleep tonight, and for letting Daddy getting a full night's rest.

P.S. I'll post more pictures in the next few days.

P.P.S. Sophia now weighs 9.lbs 13oz. She's getting real big!

Sleeping Beauty...

Well, I was going to write up a nice little post, and then add more pictures. But then it took forever just to download the pictures, and now it's late, and I don't want to write much anymore. Anyway, Sophia is the best little baby and we just love her so much. She's given us very little trouble so far, and she hardly ever cries. Actually, she hardly does anything because she sleeps so much. My only worries so far have just been getting her to eat every 2-3 hours and to eat long enough, and getting her to wake up for that. But, since she's regained her birth weight already, I guess we're doing ok. Everything has been pretty peachy so far. It's great. Of course, with every little cough, or choke I keep thinking something is wrong with our little girl, but I guess some paranoia just can't be avoided.



Oh, here are also some of the things Sophia and I got to experience together:

• On Tuesday I took Sophia to enrichment, battled to breast feed her discretly, and then later on had my milk leak through my shirt without me noticing until it was too late. Thank goodness it was Relief Society!
• On Wednesday we went to our book club together, except it was more like a baby club. It was me and my 3 friends from the ward, who all had a baby in the last few weeks...I was glad this time that I didn't have to nurse my little one
• On Thursday Sophia got a frenotomy, meaning she got her frenulum clipped because she's tongue tied. Our pediatrician said she was just a little tongue tied, but I felt she was struggling a little with her tongue and got a referral to the ENT. I'm glad I did. When we went, the ENT said that her tongue tie was actually pretty significant, and so she got clipped. Sophia did great, and hardly made a sound, but I was in tears! My poor baby.
• On Friday, we went downtown to hear Barack Obama speak. It was an interesting experience, and fun to be there. We also liked what he said, and Sophia was being really cooperative, especially with me having to nurse her and not having a good place to do so.
• On Friday night, we also went to a BBQ at one of Henry's professor's house. It was nice to meet some of Henry's graduate student buddies, as well as his professors. Once again, Sophia was a trooper.
• Today we tried to take it easy. Sophia slept almost all day. We did go to a birthday party tonight, and she was again great.
• We have one more party to go to tomorrow, and then I think I'll take a break.

We love you Sophia!

Well, here are more pictures.

P.S. In the last picture Sophia is actually awake, and playing with her neighbor Avery. Avery was born 19 days before Sophia, and her parents and us are good friends. Hopefully those two will be friends as well.

What haven't we done...

So, for all of those who think we are on a lazy vacation in Germany...I thought I would sum up some of the things we have done since we got here. I feel like time is flying by and 5 weeks just does NOT seem enough for all the things I want to do and all the time I want to spend with family and friends. It is just never enough. I love my family so much and realize each time how much I miss Germany and being close to my family. Anyway, we definitly seem to be going none stop every day, and I cannot remember ever going to bed before 11.30pm or getting up much later than maybe 9 am at very best. Here is a list of some of the things we have done:

• Temple session
• walks with the dog
• biking in a little forest with old castle sand walls
• eating tasty bread, cheese, yoghurt, cereal, fruit etc.
• sleeping
• watching various Europe Championship Soccer games
• vacation in Greece
• swimming with my niece and nephews
• playing games with my niece and nephews
• running to various offices for my passport
• visit to the North Sea
• Grandpa birthday party
• visiting Sea Life
• watching one movie
• picking my nephews up from school with a bike
• helping my sister in law with math
• losing at Cities and Knights
• winning the new game of the year 3 times even against my ever winning brother
• Fourth of July party
• boat trip across the Steinhuder Meer to a little island
• walking across Schuetzenfest and going on the big Wheel overseeing the whole city
• checking out the City Hall in Hannover with my dad, niece and nephews, and seeing more of old downtown Hannover
• eating lots of ice cream
• enjoying a Gyro, Dönner, and Lahmacun
• buying my long awaited feta cheese, smelling like garlic and having everyone comment on how tasty it smells
• playing games with my youngest brother and parents
• singing with Henry and my brother
• visiting my friend and wife and their 24 hour old baby
• going to the zoo with my nephews and seeing every show they had once we came
• swimming in a lake close to our house
• helping my dad dig out the openings underneath our basement windows during a summer storm to prevent flooding of our basement
• having long conversations with my siblings
• baby shopping trip with my mom
• watching my nephews' soccer games and their awesome goals
• other things

Anyway, I really feel like I have been going nonestop and I have walked almost as much as on my mission. Each day we are somewhere where we walk for hours in the heat of the day, seeing things or doing things. It has definitely kept me in shape and I havent put on any more weight since I have gotten here. Maybe it is also that I usually have a late breakfast and an early dinner and skip lunch for the most part. Who knows...I am not sad, but glad that even though I stuff myself like a thanksgiving turkey each day, the pounds havent come on yet.

What else is to report? Only that on Friday night I got the most vicious back itch. My back suddenly started itching like CRAZY. I was ready to rip off my skin, and nothing we did would help. Henry scratched my back for hours with no relief, I tried all kinds of creams with no relief, and then even literally boiled my back with superhot water to make it stop and it just would NOT. I had the most miserable Friday night because I just couldn't sleep due to the itch and was just up and about all night trying to make it a little bit better. It has slowly gotten less itch but is still itching as I type. I think it is a left over from the worst sunburn I ever had. I think I really got over my vain streak now and will from now on stay out of the sun. It just doesn't seem worth it.

S I C K!

I haven't been as sick as I was on Sunday in a loooong time. I woke up Sunday at 3am feeling like I was going to be sick. I have only thrown up a few times in my life, and hate it enough to recognize when I'm going to be sick. I knew my stomach wasn't happy and that I'd be throwing up eventually. Well, past experiences had taught me that it is usually best to just "get it out" and then I'll feel better. So, I stuck my finger in my throat just once, and out came...I'll spare you details. I felt a bit better right away, but about 30 minutes later, I was running to the toilet again. Then the fun really started. I kept throwing up every half hour until 9 in the morning. It was so bad that I couldn't even keep a little bit of water down. To make things really interesting, diarrhea set in as well. So, at some point I was actually puking and pooping at the same time. Sooooo miserable.

Towards evening, Henry and I decided to go to an Urgent Care just to make sure I'm ok, since I hadn't really had anything to drink, and we were concerned that maybe I was a little dehydrated. The Doctor checked my pulse and heart rate, and said I seemed fine, but that he was going to check my urine for ketones just to be sure. Well, after the urine sample he marched in telling me I had 3+ ketones (you have 0 ketones when your hydration is fine, and 4+ if you are totally dehydrated). So, they put me on an IV right away to put 2 liters of fluids into my body, and also gave me some meds to keep me from feeling sick.

Yesterday, I mostly slept and tried to eat a little bit and mostly to get my body properly hydrated again. Today I had to go back to work, which was superhard, because I was so weak I had no strength to lift up any kids, which immediately led to a superanal and annoying parent getting pissed over me walking his son to his chair instead of carrying him. He apparently was supermad and was going to complain big time to my boss. Not good. Could cost me my job. Not that I love my job and want to be there, but the only reason I have hung in so far was for the instate tuition. I'd really hate my life if I lost it now to stupid stuff that's not my fault and wouldn't get the in-state tuition and all my suffering was in vein.

So, I'm really loving life right now. Feel free to say a prayer on my behalf if you have a spare moment.